So recently the women of Pakistan celebrated the International Women’s Day by coming out in droves onto the streets. Armed with slogans and placards, they fought for their rights on the road and across social media. The movement was hailed by many.

However, all was not well in the land of the worldwide web. No sir, there are many a creature is stirring through the virtual world. Countless men and women (yes, women) have lost their collective faeces. I suspect it has hit the fan. Most of the irreverent ire is aimed at the posters paraded by protesters. I guess their sense of humour was intrinsically linked to their faeces, which as mentioned earlier was (violently) dispelled.

Whether protesting grave issues like war, apartheid or Sahir Lodhi’s “Raasta”, witty slogans and quips have always been used to make a serious point. However, much like Mr. Lodhi’s indignant reaction to criticism over his magnum opus; this time a considerable segment of the population is screaming… “How dare you!”.

As is the norm at these marches’ speakers address serious pertinent issues. A lot of the posters too highlighted the more sombre subjects. I was always the class clown and blamed for distracting the focus of the class. I told my teachers that humour was a sign of intelligence and that their inability to understand my wit showed their lack of both. At this point I was usually thrown out. Unfortunately, the same is being done to the women who might have used somewhat facetious slogans to make their point. They are being ejected from the debate.

People fail to understand that humour has long been the tool used to attract the attention of the populace to serious matters. This is nothing new or alien for our “Awaam” (population). In the past we had the movies of the legendary Rangeela (Aurat Raaj, Insaan aur Gadha), more recently we have Nabeel Qureshi’s films (Actor-in-law, Loadwedding). Rajkumar Hirani’s films are also popular in Pakistan. “Hasee Mazaak may bari baat ker jaatay hain.” Big issues are discussed in a lighthearted manner.

When her placard reads “Khaana khud garam kar lo”, it doesn’t mean that she is too lazy to heat food for her husband/father/brother. What it actually reads is that no woman should be killed because she didn’t heat food for her patriarch. When her poster states “Mozaa khud dhoondh lo”, it doesn’t mean that she doesn’t want to look for your socks. Although I have my suspicions that when we are asleep these fabric fiends come to life and hide in dark dingy corners only to turn up days later in mixed pairs as if to return from some sort of sock swingers soirée. I digress. What that poster is actually saying is stop treating me like a servant.

Yet all the focus of the people’s indignation is focused entirely on the words written by a marker on a sheet of card paper. This stems from either the inability or the unwillingness to tackle the actual issues that brought these women to march. Here in order to be fair and a little lovely, I have to say that maybe some of the counter narrative presented might have some validity. A young man brought up the issue of male employees not being given pick and drop service or not given due consideration when made to work late hours.

I am all in favour of open debate, in fact I encourage it. As a child, I used to get into quite a few with my cousin. These debates would usually end up in fisticuffs because he was a sore loser and I was always right. He would read up on facts and argue his case but I was armed by something greater. I believed I was right, so facts be damned. Admitting I was wrong would be too much of a blow to my preteen ego. How could my convictions be wrong? A frustrated Salahuddin (my cousin) would then resort to physical assertions to make his point. At which point I would beat his scrawny little ass.

I did this because I was bigger and stronger. Suffice to say our debates became a whole lot civilized once he became stronger, taller and bigger than me. I hope you can take parallels from these two paragraphs and understand the point I’m making rather than just thinking I was an asshole of a kid. Also, please don’t feel sorry for Salahuddin. He is a big-time lawyer now and is still reading up on facts and arguing his case. Albeit without all the violence.

When ammunition for debates dries up people often reach into their reserve arsenal stocked with culture and religion. Instantly the match is switched to a bowling pitch because they obviously suck at batting. Now they feel that they can bowl out the opposition with Islamic Pakistani Yorkers. I’m sorry I have PSL fever. Basically, men and women (yes, women… stop being shocked) are attacking the attendees of the Aurat March by casting aspersions on their religious and cultural values.

So, for the information of the furious brethren and their sistheren (it should totally be a word). “Agr maa ki mamta ho sakti hai tho baap ki bapta kyoun nahi ho sakti” – Satte pe Satta. Please to “mulahaiza farmaeyn”. The Holy Prophet (PBUH) married a lady Bibi Khadija (ra) who was a business lady and in the public sphere. She was not confined to her four walls but was actively involved in commerce and trade. The Prophet (PBUH) had no qualms working for a strong woman or marrying a successful professional who was also financially better off. An important point here for all those people who are outraged when their daughters elect to marry someone of their own choosing. Many women and men have lost their lives to honour killings (an oxymoron if I ever heard one) because they decided to marry of their own choice. Bibi Khadija (ra) approached Hazrat Muhammed (PBUH) for marriage. Islam allows for one to pick their own spouse and it is not a privilege exclusive to men. Mic drop.

The importance of The Prophet’s (PBUH) daughter Bibi Fatima (ra) in his life and the life of Hazrat Ali (ra) is well known to all Muslims. Muslim women accompanied their men into battle. Struggled along side men for the right to practice their religion. Therefore, the argument that women from “good households” do not come out into the streets to demand their rights is flawed. Islam is full of examples of women participating in war and politics e.g. Bibi Aisha (ra). Yes, she even gave public speeches.

The other argument used to disparage the women of Aurat March is culture. Relegating them to an “Awara” category because they chose to come out of their house or raise her voice in public. I guess they have conveniently forgotten Mohtarma Fatima Ali Jinnah. i guess when your brain is full of manure, there is just not enough room for memory. They also might not remember Madam Noor Jehan, whose voice emboldened hundreds of thousands of soldiers to go into battle. P.S. she mostly wore a sari and not a dupatta. Collective gasp… followed by collective losing of more faeces.

Our culture did not end 1400 years ago. Culture is by its nature evolving. Besides religion, it comprises of history, geography, language, art, music, knowledge and all the ups and downs of a country’s life-cycle. Everything we experience together as a nation becomes part of our shared history. All that and all who influence us become enshrined into our culture. Culture is not homogeneous, neither is religion. Muslims from Malaysia are just as different from those in Algeria as Indonesian Muslims are different from us.

The people who influence our culture can vary from Abdul Sattar Edhi to Tahir Shah. Sharmeen Obaid Chinoy will always be an integral part of our history and thus culture whether people agree with her or not. Mukhtara Mai will continue to speak out to end the culture of silence thus hopefully changing it forever. Please remember we may be Muslims but we are not Arabs. We have our own diverse, wonderful and ever-changing culture. One that is shared by Krishna Kohli, Zoe Viccaji and Asia Bibi.

Finally, to all those men who are obviously just the fashion police and not misogynists; I say Janab (dudes) thahnday ho jao (take a chill pill, bro). If you don’t have anything to contribute to the debate, how is attacking her clothes going to make your point. Why is her not wearing a dupatta relevant to what she is saying? Does a dupatta help you hear better? Why must she wear what you deem appropriate? Whereas, your shirtless profile picture assaults everyone with the eye gouging view of your nipples.

Furthermore, why is it that you think it is OK to retort with pornographic abuses to a woman who is merely stating her case. This from someone who has a picture of himself on his page professing his love for the finality of the Prophet (PBUH). Yet he has no regard for what the same Prophet (PBUH) said about treating women. Another young waste of sperm decided to berate one of the young women using graphic imagery describing his genitals and referring to her privates. He went on to describe acts, which he has only ever witnessed using a VPN. His Facebook intro simply states that one should pray so that they may achieve Noor on their face. Listen young turd, it’ll take much more than just prayer to change that face. Kindness, respect and civility reflect on your face.

YOU CAN DISAGREE BUT YOU DON’T HAVE TO BE DISAGREEABLE.

Let us debate whether it is Ramzan Mubarak or Ramadan Kareem. It is very important to get the terminology right. Religiosity versus cultural norms. It is imperative that we resolve this, the sanctity of the month depends upon the answer. Although many different cultures exist under the umbrella of Islam with their own language and rituals but is it authentic Islam if it is not the Arab version?

This is the single biggest threat to the holiest of months in the Islamic calendar. You might have grown up learning that Ramadan or Ramzan is a month of blessings, a month of good deeds, in fact it is such a holy month that the devil himself is locked up lest he lead the believers to sin. However, none of that is important unless we can determine the proper greeting terminology.

I refuse to delve into trivial matters like the so called “warriors” of the religion choose a month synonymous with tolerance and peace to launch a “jihad” campaign. I am definitely not going to get into how they pervert the definition of “jihad”- I can only take on one terminology crusade at a time. No these are trivial matters, unless I can ascertain whether this demand to escalate violence has been called for in the month of Ramadan or Ramzan. I believe the victims need to – No, have a right to know which month they are dying for.

I refuse to judge whether the perpetrators of these heinous acts are Muslims or not. Clearly their actions which are completely opposite to anything taught in Islam are not enough to qualify them as fake Muslims or heretics. I will hold judgement until I can hear them pronounce the name of this month. Did they kill innocent women, children and men in Ramadan or Ramzan? Dammit, people don’t you see how important this information is to the believers.

There will be many Muslims who will claim vehemently that the culprits of these atrocious acts are not Muslim. They are an affront to a religion that categorically forbids harming non-combatants, even in a state of war. The warped ideology is equalled only by their lack of knowledge about Islam. Can they even answer the question that is at the very core of the religion? Ramadan or Ramzan!

I whole heartedly and unequivocally agree with the Muslim community. They cannot be held responsible for the actions of a few deranged individuals. There is no newsletter circulated to all the Muslim Ummah. There is no article stating “Abdul’s” intention to carry out terrorist acts. If there was such an article, we would have noticed whether he signed off saying Ramadan Kareem or Ramzan Mubarak. Having said this, these (insert expletive) are using the name of Islam for their evil campaigns. They are perverting the minds of innocent young Muslims. Also, do not forget a vast number of their victims are also Muslims.

So, the Ummah overall is not responsible for these actions, but should be in charge of the solution. If somebody steals your identity, you are not responsible for the actions they commit in your name, however the onus is on you to stop this person. Nobody is responsible for getting cancer, but it effects their body, so they must do what they can to get rid of it. Muslims must be at the forefront of tackling the disease, because it is infecting them. This is not for the sake of anyone else or because Muslims are answerable to anyone, rather it is to exorcize the demon that is trying to possess the worldwide Islamic community. But above all they need to do this so that we can concentrate on more pressing matters like what to call this month- Ramadan or Ramzan?

I once asked my father why is the far right so often the loudest and proudest collection of bigots, racists and fascists. I inquired why are religious fundamentalists so violent and hateful. He told me that these were the death throes of a dying breed. The world was changing, becoming more open-minded, enlightened and progressive, he told me. These people were merely lashing out as their way of life was coming to an end. In the end, multiculturalism and liberal values would prevail and a tolerant and inclusive world flourish.

My father is a learned man. He is an economist and a political analyst. Baba, as I call him was not wrong, he was hopeful. The world was moving in a direction that was positive. His optimism was justified. This was the reality he lived through. All through his years up till that point the world had increasingly gotten better. This is not to say that terrorism or religious extremism didn’t exist before 9/11. Nevertheless, the world was moving along an encouraging path. People and nations overall were more accepting and inclusive with each passing generation. There were violent and ferocious people who despised multiculturalism and religious liberalism. However, these people were a minority albeit a vocal one.

Growing up, I revelled in the knowledge that the world was my oyster. I genuinely believed in one global humanity. A humanity where the ties that bind us were far greater than characteristics that divide us. My ethnicity or religion was never at question. I was a citizen of the world with the same rights and privileges as anyone else. I sincerely thought that the only differentiating factor for any human being was the strength of their character and not their pigmentation or nationality. I went about my life with this knowledge that tomorrow will be better than yesterday. The people will be better, the world will be better, I will be better. Baba was right.

I graduated from college and was ready to slurp up that oyster I was promised with great gusto. Then some idiot flew a plane into a building. The building crumbled and so did the world. The idiot died and gave birth to many more. The frightened people became violent which lead to the other side becoming frighteningly violent. Baba told me this too shall pass. He reassured me that the vast majority of the people were still open-minded, enlightened and progressive. However, the landscape of the world was changing and I was witnessing it helplessly. The scary people got louder. The louder people got scarier. Their numbers swelled and that was scariest.

Baba was not so convinced anymore either. It seemed the world had taken a U-turn. The world was on the highway to enlightenment. Some day we were going to reach Nirvana, man. Sure, there were pot holes and bumps along the way maybe even a crater or two but we were headed in the right direction. What the hell happened?! The war started as “Good vs Evil” it turned into “Us vs Them” until it finally became “Me vs You”.

When it all began, the lines were clear cut. We understood the reasons. Revenge for innocent lives lost. It doesn’t mean that most of us support violence but we could wrap our heads around it. Evil was being defeated. Some people shouted foul. The voices were distant and from the fringe. It was easy to ignore them. Then another war was started and this time the motives were not as clear. More people shouted foul. The voices were closer but not from enough people for us to take notice. As the wars became longer the motives got murkier. Even more people shouted foul. It was louder and harder to ignore. The voices had seeped into the subconscious and entered the psyche.

An entire generation now grew up with this mindset. It was no longer a war against “evil”. It was a war against “us”, they thought. Muslims thought it was a war against their faith. The west believed it was a war against their way of life. Both ideologies felt they were under threat. Thus, both sides became more defensive about their beliefs. What was ferociously shouted out by the minorities on either side was now being echoed, although less vehemently by a larger minority. As the attacks continued by either side more people were recruited into this segment. Propaganda became rhetoric and rhetoric became a mindset.

Baba had told me there were more people like me than there were like them. Yet, I no longer felt that way. Every day I felt more isolated, I was a minority. Not a minority of religion or ethnicity, but a minority of thought. My father reassured me that despite this changing dynamic, most people do not manifest their mentality in violent actions. I took solace in that fact. Violence however is not always physical. I, and others like me felt marginalised. Was I now the minority?

To varying degrees’ people were becoming more hard lined in their beliefs. More than that they were judgemental of others holding different outlooks. This was not localised to any one region but a global shift in attitudes. All around the world there was an ideological clash between progressives and right-wingers. Eventually the book was judged by its cover. Your conviction was presumed by your appearance. I used to be just a person, now I was a religion and an ethnicity. The more I was defined the more I was different. Everyone was very aware of what made them different from one group and what they thought made them the same as another group. Now it was me vs you. So, the thinking became that: I and everyone like myself is “me” whereas everyone else in the world is “you”.

It is easy to feel sympathy for people you think are like yourself. On the flip side, it becomes even easier to blame those you feel are different. In Baba’s time these distinctions were made based on your philosophies. Admittedly earlier on the same differentiations were made based on race, nationality and religion. Then the world united and rid itself of a hatemonger. Eventually people marched in Selma and even old enemies tore down walls. Wars were thawed and apartheid regimes fell. Progress was achieved. They were hard-fought battles, but they were successful. The war was not won but the victory was visualised. I am not naive, there were aberrations but there was light at the end of the tunnel. So, I could understand where my Baba’s advice stemmed from.

Like my father I am a fan of multiculturalism. Although I feel part of a shrinking fan base. Many believe that birds of a feather should flock together. They think if it weren’t for multiculturalism “others” would not come to drain their resources. Their jobs wouldn’t be exported. Furthermore, there would be no clash of ideologies and hence no violence or crime. Global aspirations should give way to internal reflection, they say. Betterment of your own people above all else, they shout. What is disturbing is that you can almost see their point. You may not agree with it but you can understand it.

Baba told me that people of the world could, and should live and work together. Nations can share in the expertise and talent of individuals beyond their borders. Countries should share their resources for the common good. Exposure to different cultures and religion can only enrich lives and increase respect and understanding, he said. I accept this to be true. Baba is right. Why can’t everyone see it this way? There are those who believe when you invest in talent and expertise from overseas, you are overlooking your own people. They think when you share resources, you are denying them their share. It is their belief different cultures and religions cannot coexist they can only clash. After all it is easier to blame someone else for all that is wrong. I can see where their hate for everyone different from themselves comes from. Even though I disagree, I can no longer ignore these voices.

In conclusion, my father was not wrong. He did not overestimate the inherent decency in people. I believe most people are good and decent. It is just that we need to accept that not everyone subscribes to the same world view as us. We need to accept that those with an alternate view are a larger segment of the world population than we would care to admit. Baba has told me to have faith in humanity and remember that human beings have overcome these prejudices before. That hate-mongering has been defeated before. That good has triumphed before. And so, even though it seems like we may have degenerated now, I will hold humanity to aspire to that standard once again.

I may not be able to be as optimistic in my advice to my son. I am after all a product of my environment. An environment that is vastly different from when my father was my age. I feel sorry that I cannot bequeath to my son a better world than the one I was bestowed with. Therefore, since hope is in short supply, I will keep the faith. The faith in humanity to once again defeat prejudice, to trounce hate, to overcome xenophobia, to crush bigotry. We might have regressed today and undone a lot of the progress we made over the decades but maybe someday we will evolve so far beyond all this hatred that we will never be able to find our way back to it. Till then Baba and I will have many more debates.

I have tried my hardest not to get involved in this debate. However comments made by certain individuals known and others lesser known ones have compelled me to weigh in with my own two cents worth.
Firstly, too many people have started out by stating that people should not be concerned with events in a nation thousands of miles away affecting a minority. Many people have been berated for displaying rainbow coloured display pictures. Ironically the same people hurling insults along with many more are stating their disapproval at USA’s decision to legalize same-sex marriage. So basically according to them, they are allowed to comment opposing something happening in a different country in a land far away about a group of people that they have no allegiances to, but criticize others who are commenting in support of the ruling.
Furthermore the same people are quite vocal when it comes to presenting their opinions on other human rights issues in whether it is regarding Burma or Palestine. The argument there may be that they feel a religious affinity towards those populations. Please keep in mind that by that same token there are Pakistanis who might feel an affinity for the homosexual community in the US, either due to their own sexual preference or because a near and dear one might be gay.
Either way at the heart of the issue is basic human rights not sexuality. Whether it is the right to vote by African Americans or the apartheid in South Africa, it all boils down to the denial of basic human rights to a certain group by another group of people. Why should a certain segment of the population be allowed to determine if another part of the populace can exercise their civil liberties? If anything my countrymen should sympathise to such discrimination. We suffered a similar plight during the British Raj. Even today we are treated as second class citizens while working in the UAE or with the new laws concerning citizenship in Canada and other countries.
So when people are showing their support for the gay community in America, it is not about sexuality. It is celebrating a victory for equality. It is celebrating the hope that nobody is considered a lesser human being not just because of their sexual orientation but also for their ethnicity or religious beliefs.